Plus Size Birth

I was just reading this blog, Plus Size Birth. I love this website. I am plus size and have two kids. I didn't have any of the issues they always say plus sized ladies are more likely to get, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure etc..thank goodness and if I had I would have immediately done what I needed to be healthy. I kicked smoking cold turkey the day I found out I was pregnant with Piper. Both of my pregnancies were typical and event free. I have always been thankful for that. I don't remember when I wasn't chubby/fat/plus sized. I have always been conditioned to not like my body, be ashamed of my body. Kids teased me about it my whole life. And as a result I disconnected from myself physically. I feel both as a woman and a plus sized person I have cracked under the pressure by society to be thin, hair free, blemish free etc...My whole life I have been self conscious physically in one way or another. When I was younger I lived in a pretty rural area (Elko, NV) and bigger clothes were harder for me to find. So I either wore men's clothes or older ladies clothes. I have always struggled with my wardrobe, with whether I am good enough, or pretty enough. OMG look at me in that picture, I am huge. Well I have a GREAT personality and that is what I have had to go with all these years. Having my babies really has given me a better mind-body connection and much more faith in my body, despite it's size. If my body could conceive, carry, and birth these two beautiful babies how bad could it be? It must be pretty bad ass, and kind of beautiful too. Thank you plus sized body for giving me two of the most amazing presents anyone could ask for.

Clutter Be Gone

As an attempt to find the "OM" in my Mom, I am making a resolution to declutter my house. I aspire to live like a monk and get rid of all of my personal belongings but I have kids and I have childhoods to preserve so I will have to do my best with my particular restrictions. I am definitely one of those people who likes to buy stuff. I like the thrill of the hunt. I like to have everything I need and not go without. I don't always buy new stuff though, we do love a thrift store score around here too. But these children, they need their goggles for swimming, their barbie high heel, that magic hat laying in the middle of the floor is REALLY important. So I need to find a balance. Right now I feel like I live in a land of piles and clutter. Piles of things I need to put away and piles of things I am ignoring. They are both hidden in beautiful bins and exposed just sitting around. We have overflowing closets, bags of stuff I am saving for Frankie to use when she is 5 (but she is one right now) so I have to make some decisions. Would it be so bad to buy a hoodie for her in a 5T 4 years from now? Do I have to save the ones we have? My brain says no, keep it, don't buy it again, but the Monk in me says, get rid of it, it is cluttering up your life and there are a million hoodies in the world, just waiting for you 5 years from now. So I am going to research the most effective way to de-clutter and then one closet at a time I am going to get rid of everything. My goal is to have one bankers box for every category of my life. I will keep you posted. BTW this article inspired me this morning, this couple lives in 240 sq feet and it actually looks roomy. More roomy than my 1400 sq ft tri-level. Of course they don't have two kids... To be Continued, One Closet at a Time!

Miss Frankie is ONE

Seriously I can't believe my baby is already ONE. It flew by and it makes me so sad I won't be experiencing another baby's infancy (she is my last one). She makes Piper look HUGE (she is almost 6), I am not sure where that time went either! Frankie is a lovely baby, she is happy, funny and so very sweet. She loves her big sister and they play together all the time. She started walking two weeks ago and is so hilarious. She is such an amazing addition to our family and I can't imagine not ever knowing her.

Black Thumb Transformation?

We bought a house in Denver about 4.5 years ago. This house is located in an awesome up and coming neighborhood but unfortunately had ZERO landscaping. Since my husband and I are in no way landscape architects (black thumbs in fact) and we are mostly kinds of lazy we haven't been very proactive about landscaping. We basically bought rocks, a lot of rocks. Front and back...ROCKS. When we bought this house there wasn't one weed in the entire yard (of rocks). But the minute we put our key in the door, the weeds grew and grew and grew. So our hobby is pulling weeds, weeds and more weeds. Spraying weeds, raking weeds, watching how weeds bloom and reseed themselves. I greatly dislike weeds. WEED I like, weeds I dislike! I have always thought we are prime candidates for Desperate Landscapes on HGTV. Next week my lovely baby Frankie Mae is turning ONE (said with many tears)! We are having a backyard Gnome birthday party (my dream since Piper is a November baby and it is always hit or miss with an outdoor party - usually a miss), so I am on a mission to clean up and beautify. I have pulled weeds, planted bushes, planted flowers (in the back) and this is our last weekend to clean up and mulch everything (in the front and back). Luckily some family is in town and willing to help so hopefully the weed pulling should go quick. Then comes the fun part, planting shrubs and flowers in the front so when people walk into our house they aren't greeted by just weeds and rocks, weeds and rocks, weeds and rocks. Home depot loves us right now. Piper is an expert at pulling weeds and Frankie loves eating rocks at this point but we plug along. I am determined to not be totally embarrassed by our yard/house next weekend and if heads have to roll to get it done, then heads have to roll. Let's all pray we bust our asses and we are OM time for the birthday deadline!!! Who is the enemy? WEEDS are the enemy, I am going to pull or kill any in my sight. If not, whatever, it was prettier than it has even been before and I actually feel connected to my yard now (and I so does Piper as she loves her new enchanted garden - and that is EXACTLY what I was aiming for). A beautiful magical place for my girls to grow up and play in, filled with caterpillars and butterflies. WE have a lot of work to do but ultimately that is my dream!

Sewing the Seeds

I used to always be on time. Even early sometimes. My house used to be clean, even longer than 20 minutes sometimes. Two amazing children later, I strive to find balance. I strive to pee alone. I strive to be OM time, even if I am late. Parenting is the most amazing and hard work I have ever encountered. It was so easy holding down my 9-5, so easy I barely even thought about it. I never bought a book about how to communicate with my co-workers. I never bought a book about how to deal with temper tantrums in the workplace. There was no Love and Logic for the office available. I loved my cubicle. Now I love my kids and the house that has become my cubicle. I have a five year old and a one year old and have only just now found the time to jot down two paragraphs about the chaos of my life and my attempts to stay sane. I have drowned in the pressure of being a good mom, wife and employee for the last 5 years or so. I have gone to therapy, bitched to my friends and family and doggie paddled around, just trying to tow the line. I have mostly struggled with lack of personal time, lack of time to focus for extended times on one task, and the guilt of not feeling good at anything I have been responsible for. But no more. Now is the time to take back Sarah. Take back life and enjoy myself and my kids and my house and my work. Reclaim me, live a healthy and happy life. Welcome to OM Time Mom. I hope we can spend some quality time together. Sarah